There are probably a million articles out there about how to keep the spark alive in a relationship with your partner. Toss a rock at the Internet and you’ll find 20 articles on spicing up your romantic life. But what about keeping the relationship with yourself alive?
Perhaps this concept sounds a little strange but consider it. When you start a relationship with a new person, it’s very exciting. There’s so much get to know about the other person. You get swept up in learning about the other person’s interests, their life journey, their hopes for the future and it’s also exciting to get to talk about yourself and reflect upon the interesting aspects of you as a person. As the relationship goes on, years down the line, this fades. It’s the natural course of things. Sometimes, however, it fades too much and becomes a problem.
This happens just the same for the relationship we have with ourselves. We allow ourselves to get lost in routine, in monotony. We forget to foster and cultivate our interests and can easily become bored with life. If you’re not interested or excited by yourself, it’s going to be very difficult to keep your relationship with your partner or friends compelling or stimulating. Letting your relationship with yourself fade will also make it more difficult to have the inspiring ideas that will help you have a fuller, more rewarding work life.
Cultivating your interests and staying engaged is easier to do than ever before because you can subscribe to RSS feeds of blogs that post things that are interesting to you. Sign up for email alerts for your favorite bands. Fall down the rabbit hole of iTunes or Amazon Prime music you may like based on what you already listen to. Follow twitter or instagram accounts related to your interests so you can stay up-to-date and have something to talk about with others. Instead of taking a 5-minute quiz about which Game of Thrones character you are, read and learn about something interesting in medieval history. Having trouble remembering what goals you had for your life? Sit down and make a bucket list. See if any of the items on the list seem vaguely possible to do and try them! Don’t just talk about taking that hiking trip or going to that concert this summer. Make the plans, buy the tickets.
Experiencing life is the only way to keep the relationship with yourself not only alive but thriving. Reflecting upon those experiences and giving yourself a chance to form opinions and ideas about them is also key. Carve out some time to be mindful about what you’re taking in. Absorb it, process it, and then talk about it with others around you! You’ll find that you feel more present, in the here-and-now of your life and others will find that infectious and exhilarating.
Try this and see how even with just a small amount of effort, you can begin to notice serious differences in the way you think and act, as well as the way that other people respond to you.